Current Obsessions

Busting The Myths Of Moving To London

Living in London sometimes feels like you're living in an entirely different country to the rest of the United Kingdom (it's hard to say United Kingdom post-Brexit and not laugh.) You can get any form of cuisine at any time of the night, as opposed to Dominos pizza shutting at 11pm in your hometown. Getting home after a night out in a different area doesn't always equals an expensive cab ride home if you're happy to get a night bus (or five.) And although technically still being located within the confines of one big city, dating someone who lives in Stoke Newington when you live in Brixton is basically the LDN equivalent of the long-distance relationship that failed when you moved to uni.

Living in London sometimes feels like you're living in an entirely different country to the rest of the United Kingdom (it's hard to say United Kingdom post-Brexit and not laugh.) You can get any form of cuisine at any time of the night, as opposed to Dominos pizza shutting at 11pm in your hometown. Getting home after a night out in a different area doesn't always equals an expensive cab ride home if you're happy to get a night bus (or five.) And although technically still being located within the confines of one big city, dating someone who lives in Stoke Newington when you live in Brixton is basically the LDN equivalent of the long-distance relationship that failed when you moved to uni.

Whilst many of you may have just graduated (woo, congrats!), there's a good chance a few of you might be about to relocate here to start your first real job and begin a #blessed life in the big city. After doing so myself three years ago, I feel I've learnt enough to pass on to manage your expectations. So here's a little breakdown of some of the myths that surround living in this city.

You will never have any money
Right...but neither will anyone else really, so you make it work by rushing to order 8 cocktails at 6:55 before happy hour ends, and drinking Prosecco in the park in the summer time. 
 



Dating Culture is epic
Kind of right - Be prepared to develop repetitive strain in your thumb from swiping left through all of the men in London. You’ll probably never run out of people too. You only meet people through dating apps here though, so don't expect that handsome young man you've been eyeing up IRL to actually talk to you. Talking is soooo home counties.  



The night bus is a great invention
Wrong - It is a terrifying experience that must be avoided at all cost. Last time some man with bad breath asked to teach me how to tango. On the top deck. Where is the eject button?


Well, that's fine because I'll just get an Uber everywhere anyway
Wrong. You will, until you realise your Uber driver is as clueless about the city as you are and you probably would have got to your destination quicker if you had walked. Backwards. Blindfolded. With your legs tied up. 

Living near a tube is the bestest thing ever
Wrong... if you live Clapham and can’t even get on the Northern Line in the morning. You may as well be living in Surrey. Or Scotland...  



You’ll spend your weekends going to lots of cool museums and galleries/ exhibitions
Wrong. You'll tell yourself you'll do this when you first move, then realise at the weekend you're far too hungover to deal with a myriad of tourists on tubes and fawning over modern art at Tate Modern, and just spend your Saturday watching reruns of the Big Bang theory with last nights 2am pizza. 


Nobody talks to you on the tube
Right. You’ll wonder why this is when you first move here. People ARE SO INTERESTING! Give it a few months and that’ll change. Don't make eye contact. Don't even breathe too loudly. And if you happen to bump into your friend on your commute, I don't care how long you haven't seen them for, just don't speak to them. 
London is full of really cool clubs
Wrong. Nobody goes to these clubs apart from tourists and people from Essex. You’ll most likely go to a pub that looks like your grandma's house then turns into a club when a random DJ shows up because it's London and that's way cooler. Or you'll just end up in Infernos. 


You’ll do your food shop at really cool farmers markets and independent food stores
Wrong - You’ll do your shopping in one of your many many many local Sainsbury's, preferably from the reduced aisle.


Summer will be spent hanging on the coolest rooftop bars in London, from sunset until sunrise
Wrong - It will be spent hanging out on the coolest rooftop bars in London, at first, under the cover from rain. Stay strong.


You'll sample all of the amazing new pop-ups and coolest restaurants
Half true - You'll do this until you find your favourite dish at your favourite independent restaurant, and that's all you'll ever eat, forever and ever amen (mine, for the record, is the five cheese - yes, FIVE - pizza from Brixton Village's Agile Rabbit...) 


You'll see your best friend who already lives there so much more than before 
Wrong - Somehow, you see them less. Don't ever expect friends that live North of the river come down South for you... 

16 comments

  1. This is hilarious, love the post!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Are you trying to get people to not move to London?

    ReplyDelete
  3. hahahah this post is super funny!

    x Lilli
    please check out my fashionblog if you want: www.LilliFerreira.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. So true - I just moved out of Clapham mostly due to the fact I had to take pain killers every morning after being crushed to death in what feels like one giant forced hug in a Bikram Yoga sesh at Clapham Common Station!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hahaha so Facking true! I hate the northern line and always have to brace myself for it! I've lived in London all my life so I actually don't know anything else but this post is bang on!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ahaha I love this post, I'm moving to London in September and this made me laugh, I'm sure it'll be an experience!x

    electraviolet.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  7. This made me laugh so much! I'd love to live in London but friends have told me it's crazy expensive. A girl can dream!

    Rachael at broomfie.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. Haha was a bit skeptical when i saw this on your instagram, but it so funnily relatable to me since I've been here for the past 4 years! In it together my friend! ♥

    ReplyDelete
  9. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hahah this is so relatable! At first I had ALL the plans, but now I only really see anything 'cultural' when family come to visit ha!

    Sophie | www.dreamsandcolourschemes.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. So much agreement about Clapham and Infernos. I'm so glad that my boss lets me come in just after the rush hour ends, Clapham South from about 8am is HELL.

    ReplyDelete
  12. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Haha, this article was such a fun read!
    I also live in a big city and I do relate to some of these myths as well.

    www.janded.eu

    ReplyDelete
  14. The point about uber...?
    Please don't mention the wretched surcharge when you're in London late at night and need to get home but you're being charged triple the regular fare!

    Onyxsta xx
    BLEURGH- www.bleurghnow.com

    ReplyDelete
  15. I can relate to almost all of this. Especially the clueless Uber drivers and end-of-happy-hour drink orders. And the Sainsburys food shopping.

    Aishling
    www.le-stage.com

    ReplyDelete
  16. Lol I agree! I'm from London (and I live 10-15 minutes away by train from Clapham Junction station so I know what it's like.) Rush hour in London is hell.

    Chichi
    chichi-writes.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for all comments, for a quick and direct reply tweet me at @sophiemilner_fs

Follow Me

© Fashion Slave - London-based Fashion and Lifestyle blog . Design by Fearne.